Waffle Me Crazy


Holy crap, get ready for some life-changing food heaven right here.

So, ever since I got my waffle iron, I’ve been wanting to waffle the hell out of as many things as possible, and this weekend, I got busy with it.

My friend C was coming over, and since she’s an artist and a bit of a youngin, I figured she’d be down to eat an experimental all-waffled breakfast that didn’t include any actual waffles. Plus, I knew if I seriously screwed up breakfast, she would be able to roll with it and not think I was too much of a nut job for putting all this crap in a waffle iron in the first place.

Plus, she’s one of the last few remaining unicorns on earth who doesn’t have any dietary restrictions, food allergies, ingredient limitations or picky food preferences. She was like “Free breakfast at your place? Make whatever you want and I’ll eat it.” And so I did. She even brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers to say thank you.

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Waffle Experiment #1 – Basil Scrambled Eggs
Here’s a secret you didn’t know: a waffle iron is the lazy person’s guide to awesomeness. You can put all kinds of shit in a waffle iron, and it’ll come out looking awesome in less than three minutes.

This recipe was the easiest thing ever:

Chop and fry some itty bitty onions. Get a bowl and put in your eggs, seasonings, chopped basil and the fried onions. Put that ish in a hot waffle iron and cook just like a waffle. Bam, done. Puffy, fluffy, crispy-on-the-outside eggs in less time than it takes to make your cup of fancy coffee.


Waffle Experiment #2 – Wonuts
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. (Note: Do not get jelly donuts). Some guy in Chicago has been selling wonuts since this spring, and that’s all fine and good. His sound quite lovely, but time intensive.

His technique involves putting donut batter in the waffle iron and then deep-frying them before dipping them in glaze and topping them afterwards, but ain’t nobody got time for that. Just get a donut and put it in the waffle iron. Food ecstacy will be yours in 60 seconds.

The wonut is a flavor sensation. Some bites were like a fresh-hot-fluffy-donut and some bites were like crispy sugar-candy-funnel-cake or something. On a scale of 1-10 it was OMG. Or 1OMG?

So now you know.

And I suppose now you also know what you’re cooking next time you have a brunch at your house. What else are you gonna waffle??? Don’t forget to text me the addy. I’ll even bring flowers.